Republican Lunatic's Teleportation Delusion

No One at Waffle House Remembers FEMA Official Who Says He Teleported In

This howling article is behind a paywall, so I'm sorry if you can't read it. It tells the story of Republican lunatic (sorry for the redundancy) "Gregg Phillips, a top official at the Federal Emergency Management Agency, who has generated numerous headlines and at least one biting late-night comedy segment for his claim that he once teleported to a Waffle House in Rome, a city of 39,000 people northwest of Atlanta." Dimwitted Phillips claims that God is responsible for the deed.

At the Waffle Houses of Rome this week, Mr. Phillips's assertion of supernatural travel was met with skepticism. At the branch on U.S. Route 411, close to a Quality Inn and a pest control company, Estelle Mandeville, 27, was finishing up breakfast. Ms. Mandeville, a North Carolinian who was traveling for work, described herself as "uncomfortably atheist," and noted that she, personally, had come to Rome in a 2018 Kia Niro.

Austin Spears, 29, a land surveyor, also found Mr. Phillips’s story to be dubious. But he also acknowledged that all human lives are studded with little mysteries.

"I can say I’ve been drunk and ended up in a Waffle House," Mr. Spears said. "Don't know how I got there. But I was there."

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Author: Flower Snark
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Page created on 2026-04-05T16:39:15-04:00.